A teacher accused of the sexual abuse and murder of a baby he adopted said: “I’m going to hell,” as he cradled the dead child, a court has heard.
Jamie Varley, 37, who earlier wailed for his mother, made the remark in the bereavement room at Blackpool Victoria Hospital with 13-month-old Preston Davey in his arms.
Footage of the incident, along with a series of other videos captured by police body worn cameras, were played to jurors at his murder trial at Preston Crown Court.
Varley is seen in apparent disbelief and guilt-ridden, blaming himself for leaving the child in the bath before claiming he found the child face down minutes later.
But prosecutors say his account is inconsistent with post-mortem findings, which discovered the child had 40 injuries.
Varley, at the time a high school teacher, is accused of the murder of the child, while his partner, John McGowan-Fazakerley, 32, is accused of allowing the death of the child, with both accused of sexual abuse.
During the four months the baby was under their adoption at their home in Blackpool, he was allegedly routinely ill-treated, had indecent images and videos taken of him, was sexually abused and physically assaulted.
The defendants had rushed the unconscious child from their home, after an alleged final sexual assault by Varley, to Blackpool hospital around 6.20pm on July 27 2023.
Medics worked for nearly an hour to resuscitate the child until a decision was made that further intervention was futile and life was pronounced extinct at 7.20pm.
Jurors were shown the footage as a “hysterical” Varley, accompanied by his mother Karen Graham, collapses onto a floor inside the hospital, as medics ask him to come to the child’s bedside as they could not revive him and resuscitation attempts were to end.
Varley can be seen wailing: “I’m done. It’s my fault. No mum, I can’t get up.
“It’s my fault. Do not give up on him. This is not happening.
“It’s my fault, I left him for literally two minutes. It’s my fault. I left him. Mum!
“I can’t, I can’t, this is not happening. Please kill me.”
More footage was shown of Varley, barefoot and wearing a Jurassic Park t-shirt and tartan pyjama bottoms, outside the hospital entrance, minutes after Preston has been declared dead.
Pacing back and forth, Varley said: “It’s not happening. He’s not gone.
“I’m going to go in there, he’s going to be smiling, he’s going to be laughing. This is not happening. If he’s dead, I can’t live with this.”
Varley is also asked if he wants to go and see Preston, who he had renamed Elijah.
He replies: “No. I don’t deserve to see him. I left him. I can’t, not now please.”
He continues: “I only left the bathroom to get clothes… This can’t happen.
“He’s got his life ahead of him. I’m not going in, because it’s fine.
“I’m a teacher, I’m head of year, I’m child protection trained.
“You don’t leave him in a bath tub. He was in his chair, he was fine.
“He doesn’t deserve me. I should not have left him…
“He was giving me cuddles when I put shampoo in his hair.”
More video was then shown of events inside the bereavement room with McGowan-Fazakerley and Varley’s mother and he is cajoled to enter the room.
He continues to pace up and down, and says: “I don’t want to be in here. He needs to be warm, keep him warm.
“Elijah wake up. He is going to wake up mum. He’s my baby boy. He’s got to wake up.
“I need to get out of here.”
The next clip shows Varley outside, where he says: “I tried to go in but my mum wouldn’t let me hold him.”
The final footage shows Varley and his co-accused together at just after 11pm, in the bereavement room.
Varley is cradling the child and McGowan-Fazakerley says: “It’s going to be the hardest thing… we’ve got each other.”
Varley is also told not to blame himself and the death is a “tragic accident”.
Varley, still cradling the child with his head down, responds: “I probably won’t see you again. I’m definitely going to hell.”
His co-accused continues to try to console him and Varley says: “They’ll be whisking me away for neglect.”
Preston was born on June 16 2022, immediately taken into care by Oldham Council, and placed with foster parents at five days old.
After undergoing an assessment and familiarisation process in early 2023 he was adopted and began living with the defendants on April 1 at their home.
Varley took a year off work as head of year and as a design and technology teacher at a local high school, South Shore Academy, to look after the child, but struggled as a new parent with a baby who frequently woke during the night, the court has heard.
Varley denies murder, manslaughter, two counts of assault by penetration, five counts of cruelty to a child, grievous bodily harm, sexual assault of a child, 13 counts of taking indecent photos or videos of a child, one of distributing an indecent photo of a child, to his co-accused, and one of making an indecent photo.
McGowan-Fazakerley denies allowing the death of a child, three counts of child cruelty and one count of the sexual assault of a child.
The trial was adjourned until Thursday morning.
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