Get all your news in one place.

100's of premium titles.
One app.

Start reading

Get all your news in one place.

100's of premium titles. One news app.

Start reading

Bored Panda

Lifestyle

Paulius Jurgelevičius

“I Own Both A Teapot And A Tea Cosy”: 60 Funny Ways To Tell That Someone Is British

Granny

The Brits have an uncanny ability to scream out their nationality without saying a single word. Some of their quirks are so quintessential that they may as well come with their own passport.

Tea cosies, egg cups, cucumber sandwiches and the most perfect, orderly queues seem to be a staple across the pond. Where else would you find a gentleman apologizing to a chair after bumping into it? Or a lady checking the weather through the window, while drinking tea with her pinky finger sticking out? They'll say "I'm not bothered," while being extremely bothered, and "interesting" when what they're really thinking is, "utterly awful."

Someone posted, "Tell me you're British without telling me you're British" and the crowd went wild - with a poker straight face, of course. From the person who admitted to forming a "queue of one" right next to the bus stop, to another who said they travel with their teabag wallet, our posh friends are proving that you can take the Brit out of Britain, but you'll never take Britain out of the Brit. Here are some of the funniest responses...

#1

This is my evening walk

#2

If it’s chucking it down someone will
always say “Oh but it will be good for the garden though.”

#3

A perfect icebreaker at a party is commenting on how small Wagon Wheels are these days.

#4

The week before any holiday, you'll often hear me say "this time next week we'll be (add appropriate activity/place).

#5

Whenever I’m in a station that has both the underground and overground, I hum the Wombles theme tune to myself

#6

I stand right next to the bus stop, even when I’m the only person there, forming a queue of one.

#7

I look at the weather through the window.
Then I check the Met Office.
Then I look at the percentage of rain forecast.
Then I rationalise it to the positive.
‘60% chance of rain, oh that means there’s 40% it won’t’
Barbecue then …

#8

Nothing tests courage like trying to catch a collapsing Hobnob before it dissolves into the tea.

#9

If someone smashes a glass in a pub, the only response is “weeeeyyyyy”

#10

Bit nippy today innit

#11

I'll see your teapot and cosy and raise you a butter dish and egg cups

#12

Saying “they won't sell many ice creams going at that speed” when they see an emergency vehicle with blue lights going.

#13

i have a teabag wallet, i take it with me when traveling 😊

#14

Wandering around my garden in my dressing gown after I wake up with a mug of tea in my hand, inspecting my pot plants!!

#15

If you put the milk in the tea first, you owe me an apology.

#16

Morning cuppa without thinking about it then unintentionally having more tea later cause I can 😂

#17

I answer the door to people who are promoting or selling something because I feel rude if I didn't 🤣

#18

I slap my thighs and say “right” when getting up from a chair ready to leave

#19

Last night when I was walking the dog I saw a cat walk into the road and lie down. I said- out loud, in a public place, to an animal- "can't park there mate"

#20

If anyone says “to me” I will respond with “to you”.

#21

That's what I need a tea cosy! My washing machine is in my kitchen

#22

‘It’s like Blackpool illuminations in this house’ to my husband when he forgets to switch the lights off in the hall and landing

#23

Whenever I see a responding police car with its blues and twos going, I can't stop myself saying "Ayup, someone's late for their lunch."

#24

I hold the door open for people then when they say nothing...I say out loud, doing this for my own good then am I.

#25

I am outraged if anyone pushes in front of me when I am at the bar or in a shop. I have categorised my biscuits into everyday, fancy and treat. There are rules about which sauces go with different meals and I have eye rolled so hard I pulled a muscle.

#26

I eat my crumpets with bovril 💪

#27

Language, Timothy!

#28

My tutting has reached peak levels after 40 plus years of practice.

#29

Taking some teabags in a suitcase with me, try to remember to carry a umbrella in my bag unless complete sun is forecast & if abroad and I wear shorts - the white legs give it away 🤣

#30

“You can't tell me what to do, you ain't my mother!"

#31

Knowing upper deck of a double decker bus is not dangerous 😂😂

#32

See someone washing their windows and tell them "You've missed a bit"
Also to anyone washing their car "You can do mine next"

#33

I have a kettle in the kitchen, and I've seen 4 seasons in 1 day today

#34

I have a spare kettle, in case of power cuts, that goes on the gas hob. Powercuts are miserable but without tea it’s a crisis

#35

Jesus Christ, Fenton!!

#36

I own a full tea set and a teacosy - and I don't even drink tea.

#37

As a Brit living in the Pacific Northwest US - my cupboard has at a minimum marmite, Branston, a couple of cans of Heinz and some mango chutney. I still call Gyro (US) a kebab and thirty years hear still have to mentally translate “chips” doesn’t mean I need to reach for vinegar (malt vinegar they call it here). Same I look at zucchini and think courgette, and egg plant and think aubergine.