How well do you know your neighbour? If I were to ask your neighbours about you, what would they say? I am not being nosy, but rather pointing to an important socio-economic factor that many people overlook. Your relationship with your neighbour can save you money, time and more. The investment in neighbourly relationships pays off quietly: less stress, lower costs, safer children, stronger communities. It's nice to be nice (though at times it may not seem so).
Considering that over 60% of Thais live in urban areas, plus those who might be classified as suburban, Ladkrabang, Min Buri, or Thon Buri. Communities can be found in apartment buildings, condominiums, community development, villages, moo baans, projects or similar property developer constructs. Modern housing projects may seem artificial, but human needs are still traditional.
For those living in residential "compounds", community activities can reduce child care costs (more than 25% based on my frugal numbers). In my compound, it is common to see haggard parents driving their kids to various football practice sessions. Now if these parents got together, they and their kids would save time and energy by simply playing football in the neighbourhood. Lower fuel costs. Less driving. Less time on the road. More neighbours know each other. The more children play outside, the more parents trust the environment around them. Parents who have to work can focus on their work, knowing their kids can walk back home and are in a relatively safe environment.
Neighbourhood play and interaction develop skills that are transferable to schools. Kids get time to build authentic relationships. Interacting with different kids helps build confidence, awareness, an understanding of differences and even empathy. Working with these differences at an early age helps kids navigate life overall. So a state school kid gets to learn what the private school kid does and vice versa.
There are social and business opportunities hidden in these interactions, too. For kids, it is the opportunity to learn, grow and interact with people from (usually slightly) different social and economic backgrounds, which leads to greater success in business and work later in life. The academic literature shows that economic mobility increases with socialisation. For parents too, there is the ability to build business contacts, learn about different schools and simply have more relaxed time. I sometimes have great conversations and teaching ideas at the community pool.
While this might not be obvious, being social improves security. Knowing who is who and what they do helps let kids play unsupervised. There is less need for vigilance, which saves on mental strain and real costs.
The proverb "it takes a village to raise a child" is more important today, as that village spirit is reduced; we are seeing the decline in birth rates. Correlation may not be causation, but it indicates a contribution. This is a relationship that is discussed in academic and policy planning spheres. However, at a more pragmatic level, it is not about being friends but about having an understanding and a willingness to work with others close by for a common good. Adults cite the number of problems in society, as well as the expense and hassle of raising kids. What can be done? The solution might be simpler than imagined.
Communities are microcosms of the world, so slow, steady steps. Start with hello. Ask about their day. Some may be transient. Accept that people are fundamentally the same while expressing themselves differently. Set boundaries early. And enjoy the learning experience by simply sharing. Grandparents can help remind us about communal living.
Communities are more than physical; they are social. I have suggested these ideas to my wife, the developers and even some neighbours. But the reluctance is clear. Adults themselves are afraid of doing things differently, interacting and building that new social bond. Parents now have to explain to their kids why their parenting approach is different from others'. Communal interaction means less curation of interacting with the "right" kind of people. There are seemingly negative people whom parents will have to interact with.
Communities are not built by developers alone. They are built slowly through greetings (and even gossip), small favours (flowers/fruits from overhanging foliage), shared spaces (playing in the parks), and ordinary trust. Societies are increasingly defined by isolation and rising costs; perhaps one of the most overlooked investments we can make is simply getting to know the people next door. So, when was the last time you spoke with your neighbour?
Mariano Miguel Carrera, PhD, is a lecturer at the International College at King Mongkut's University of Technology, North Bangkok.
